Black Privilege

Black Privilege


 With all of the talk about white privilege; I was inspired by Peggy McIntosh’s post on white privilege. She recognizes the benefits of her skin color although she is opposed to how the racist system is set up. I wanted to list a few black privileges of our own that I’ve noticed. You black people should be filled with glee and excitement that you have your own privileges gloat over and rub in people’s faces.

1. black privilege is being assured your time won’t be wasted with petty questions regarding your rights or Miranda rights when coming into contact with the police

2. black privilege is giving speeches as president about race relations and knowing your approval ratings want decrease.

3. black privilege is being more appreciative than other races because you are constantly reminded how racism ended since a bi-racial man has been elected as the 44th president

4. black privilege is you being a fit enthusiast by helping people exercise their finger tips because people love touching your kinky and curly hair

5. black privilege is Churches Fried Chicken, maybe just churches, or maybe just chicken

6. black privilege is not having to focus on teaching your kids black history since its covered in 90% of all history books in America. (especially the south)

7. black privilege is living lavishly in the top percent by living off the residuals all those music companies fairly paid you as an old blues musician

8. black privilege is working and getting paid the same as other actors in Hollywood film and being able to leave the set earlier than the other actors, especially in thrillers and horror genres

9. black privilege is having a larger imagination than others when it comes to museum and gallery viewing;  since the art work doesn’t usually look like you, you can practice imagining black faces on the white ones

10. black privilege is being able to be as late as you want to since your mental clock time is expected to be in a different place. It is called CPT time.

11. black privilege is knowing people will assume you are gainfully employed because you resemble the butler, maid or help at high society galas and events.

12. black privilege are drugs

13. black privilege is being viewed as intelligent and a competent educator, because you can teach them to be great at dancing, singing,  and running at alarming fast speed

14. black privilege is having access to audio play back sessions by the  government when on your phone, having conversations about conspirator government issues

15. black privilege is knowing you’re safe in the hood because of the frequent presence of police car patrols.

16. black privilege is being the first to test the police tasers and gun shooting tactics

17. black privilege is showing you’re capable of being the strongest of the race, since everyone expects you to comfort them and not get emotional

18. black privilege is creatively naming your kids

19. black privilege is getting off named jobs like “job application trash cleaner” because you have one of those “black” sounding names

20. black privilege motivates other people by default to exercise and stay in shape with these main exercises. The finger -lock the car door exercise, the clutch purse, forearm strengthener exercise, the eye pupil, follow you across the room stare exercise, and the cross the street when they see you thigh and calve toner exercise

21. black privilege is the assumption of not being accident prone, getting cuts or scrapes to the skin, since there’s no dark “flesh” colored toned band-aids

22. black privilege is greeting each other with some form of body language, hand or fist touching

23. black privilege is getting beautifully hand painted signs created in your honor along with welcoming phone calls when moving into an all white neighborhood

24. black privilege is having gainful employment in Hollywood as pimp, prostitute, drug dealer, angry, overly sad, hyper-sexed or in a gang

25. black privilege are gold teeth

26. black privilege is experiencing 100% safety in convenient stores because the store owner’s emphasis to escort you through all the aisles

27. black privilege is the assumption you are a medical school grad when walking down the street and getting asked, “do you know where to get some street pharmaceuticals?”

28. black privilege is eating at Denny’s

29. black privilege is being able to take off from being represented as a black person and having some random black person take your place; since all black people are alike

30. black privilege is owning all major record companies, film studios and hair care distributing industries and media outlets

31. black privilege is knowing no one will take the dance floor seriously unless you get out there and dance; otherwise it will only be considered jokes and games

32. black privilege is getting the first dibs in commercial modeling jobs on syrup

bottles and rice boxes

33. black privilege is walking into the hospital and you getting first dibs on diabetes medicine

34. black privilege is hot sauce on everything